too BLESSED to be STRESSED...
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
weird -_-"
a secondary 2 student asked me this question:
"when a white light is passed through a prism, what colour of refracted light will travel with the fastest speed?"
i said all the light regardless of their colours would travel with the same speed if they were travelling in the same medium. then i explained that red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet that came out from prism would have different frequency and wavelength; violet light had the shortest wavelength and greatest frequency while red with the longest wavelength and smallest frequency, but they had the same speed, as in the wave form of light, we could follow the relation of c=f*λ. (at least this was what I learned in school, even till JC)
then i moved on to other students and the senior teacher who saw this (i.e my ex teacher) continued explaining the phenomenon to this student.
After awhile, the same student asked me with another question. But what drove me into confusion was, the student's answer for the previous question became VIOLET LIGHT??..then i asked him what explanation he wrote by answering violet light? he just said the senior teacher told him so, and he believed him more(yea, the power of school teacher)..rrr...he wrote explanation something about wavelength without stating frequency? then i asked him further whether he knew the speed of light in vacuum, and he could state 300million m/s instantly.. yup, that was the one! the speed of light was the same regardless of their colours. c'mon..
I knew violet light would be refracted to greater angle and would have greater frequency compared to other colours of visible light.. but not greater speed!
When i told him that i was pretty sure with my answer, he just wanted to hold on to what the senior teacher said regardless of explanation...huff...
a very cool way of learning huh? -_-"
yeah, it's actually normal to make mistakes in answering question, teachers are humans who are also prone to make mistake, like sometimes they(me also) don't really read the question carefully and end up in explaining other things and give other answers, but it's a pity that some learners simply miss out the point of learning itself due to nonchalance:(...
a very cool way of learning huh? -_-"
yeah, it's actually normal to make mistakes in answering question, teachers are humans who are also prone to make mistake, like sometimes they(me also) don't really read the question carefully and end up in explaining other things and give other answers, but it's a pity that some learners simply miss out the point of learning itself due to nonchalance:(...
Monday, April 4, 2011
one hundred and fifty percent
When you manage to perform perfectly, what you will get is self-satisfaction.
on the other hand, when there're mistakes while performing,
don't get to stress out so much.. sometimes even with full preparation, mistakes may still do appear..
but the good thing is, usually the audience will not realise it:)
i remember during my first quite a big(and i found it professional) dance concert at MGS Dance Night 2008, i did make a mistake in a dance item.
i appeared from backstage when i was supposed to come up 16 beats later and when i realised i ran back to the backstage according to the rhythm...;p..
was panicking for awhile n hoped that nobody would see...
and that was true,,
nobody realised i appeared at the wrong time,not even my friends who kept their eyes on me from the audience seats(sure fellow dancers around me last time realised a bit lah, why this girl suddenly there in that formation..haha).
in 2009, when I watched Silence, a contemporary dance concert at Esplanade, i found it flawless(though i didn't really get the story actually, plus people beside me sleeping through..haha)..However, my CCA teacher who was involved at the backstage for this event, told us that there was actually lighting problem and a missing track so the dancers skipped one whole section of the dance to that missing track...hmm..
and again, none of the audience realised about that...;p
on Chingay 2010, the Friday performance was so messy..haha.. somehow everyone getting confused with the counting, and following the correct counting would just make u look 'outstanding' coz almost everyone followed the wrong one..haha..luckily, the imperfection was covered with the beauty of fireworks.^^ anw, it was paid off with the great&almost perfect Saturday performance..plus i found myself (with the group) featured on TV for about 5 seconds...;p
Yup, technical problems almost always appear out of sudden, and this happened during yesterday Yamaha Electone Festival, West Java region to our group from Nada Music School under Electone Ramai-Ramai(which means 'crowd') category. based on the name, it was crowded. Not only electone players, there were vocalists, saxophonists, violinists, guitarists, a drummer, a djembe drummer, little dancers, plus crazy supporters..with the guitarists' costume more like a dancer one(it's similar to what i'm used to wear for tambourine dance in church: long skirt+turtle neck shirt covered with something else), i feel a bit weird, but not bad on stage actually. even i got a woman asked where i rented the costumes as she would need that kind of costumes for a group of dancers, so i just gave her the phone number written on the label of the skirt.(this part was unglam if you try to visualise it..haha)
ok, back to the story..there was a technical problem that caused 1 from 5 electones to be not working..sigh..and somehow at the beginning the tempo to be like 'Tom and Jerry'..:/..so we were rather confused which one to follow.. plus something wrong with the microphones for the guitars(so different from during the check sound)...however,(again) for the audience who watched this, it was still a great one(as they never heard the original arrangement that turned to be really perfect during last rehearsal, that was really great i think..)..anyway we had done our best part for this group, so there should be no regret :). we were grateful that we still managed to get the 4th 3rd place( in Indonesia it's called Harapan 1 >>direct translation 1st Hope)updated 05/04/2011(new info: only got 1st, 2nd, & 3rd(harapan 1) place;p (and one more surprising news>updated 08/04/2011: based on the marking points and scores, our group actually got the highest and should win the first instead, but i still dunno how it became 3rd when it was announced O.o)... .so i concluded that we still had hope to win 1st place in other occasions..haha..
(anyway, as we all know, competitions are different from concerts.. in competitions there are judges that u can't fool them with your mere 'cuteness', like u entertain the audience;p..because audience would demand entertainment while the judges would want perfection on skills and overall performances, yet they want some entertainment too..in conclusion, judges are demanding XD)
The fun part of this festival was Audience Award for all categories.The winners were determined by the noise level that the audience could make when the MC stated the participants' number. Each music school had prepared the 'armour' for this noise 'war'. from ours, trumpets and cymbal had been prepared. plus they said they had 2 fire alarms? i dunno which sound was that..but it was noisy anyway;p..
and last resources for those who didnt get anything:
a pair of hand to clap plus an almost-broken-vocal-cords..(like seriously..haha).
however, it was getting disorganized while Audience Award for this category was going to be held as almost all supporters were heading towards the front of the stage.
the MC kept mentioning that the noise-meter was sensitive enough to detect sound in the whole room,
and she 'threatened' that she wouldn't start it till everyone was back to the seat. Of course, we were skeptical.
Instead of being back to our own seats, our group were hiding behind few rows of seats near the person holding on to the noise-meter and cheered as loud as possible when the MC mentioned our group number : 5.(smart people...haha)
and finally we manage to create 110 decibels of noise :D, while other groups only managed to create from 98-108 decibels, so we won this award^^,
Here are some pictures taken on that day..photo courtesy of my guitar teacher and my mom;p.
before performance : our cool guitar team with the master;p
concept behind this: not only guys, girls and kids can also play guitar..haha
during performance : me at the centre of the pic, since my mom took this..haha
after performance : our big team winning the Audience Award + 4th 3rd place :D
One thing i can conclude about performances in general: just do the best that you can do,
but if things doesn't go as smooth, it's ok, the audience won't always realise about that..;p..
but if we prepared a very great one for a performance, even with little mistakes, it would be still great.. this reminded me of what ci El(she was the choreographer) said during Naboeng 2009: always give 150%..so if unnecessary things happen, you would at least still have the 100% :)
Monday, March 28, 2011
ears: not only to hear,but LISTEN
this month has been the busiest month in this year(read:so called holiday period) so far,
getting busy with some essays and portfolio plus getting busy in my workplace, plus doing some voluntary task, plus practicing some other stuff...;p
so, instead of sharing my own thought, i wanna share an article from health guidance org about the importance of listening..
anyway i was at this article while thinking that so many people are not listening while being told(esp. and usually students, without exception;p) as they keep talking or doing their less important business when somebody else(i.e. and usually teacher) is talking about some important stuff.
This brought me to reflection about listening in life generally. We may think that we listen enough to people who talk to us by responding to them accordingly. but, are we actually "listening"?
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from this i conclude that "not talking" while somebody else is "talking" doesn't necessarily mean "listening".
Listening is much more than that. it's a form of humility. and it's not always easy.
getting busy with some essays and portfolio plus getting busy in my workplace, plus doing some voluntary task, plus practicing some other stuff...;p
so, instead of sharing my own thought, i wanna share an article from health guidance org about the importance of listening..
anyway i was at this article while thinking that so many people are not listening while being told(esp. and usually students, without exception;p) as they keep talking or doing their less important business when somebody else(i.e. and usually teacher) is talking about some important stuff.
This brought me to reflection about listening in life generally. We may think that we listen enough to people who talk to us by responding to them accordingly. but, are we actually "listening"?
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In these modern times we as people are very busy. We have multiple distractions. Distractions such as cell phones, computers, Ipods and 24/7 television. We are constantly talking. Even when we are listening we are continually chattering in our brain. Formulating an answer, or reacting to what is being said. We all want to talk, but so few wish to listen. We hear what is being said but are we really listening? What is listening?
To go into this question we can begin with what it is not. Maybe from there we can discover its quality. Listening is not a reaction. Listening is not talking. Listening is not thinking. Listening is not what someone tells you it is. What I mean by that is. You and I could describe it, but that is not listening, that is merely its description. I could describe water to you, however the description of water will not quench your thirst.
When a person is listening there are no reactions. There is no thinking. There is no talking. Listening is not judging. Listening as I see it is a very humble quality. There is no me. There is no what I want to say. Listening is very revealing. Listening to your own thoughts or what others say can be very informative.
These days we lay so much emphasis on the intellect that we close our hearts and remove the beating moment to moment of life, because we are no longer listening. We have filled our lives with knowledge, beliefs, opinions, which lead to prejudgments.
The importance of listening is this. When you are not listening you are not learning. When you are not listening you are preventing opportunity. The fact that you do not listen reveals the reality that your mind is closed. When you are not listening you are preventing intelligence. When you are not listening there is nothing new, there are only your reactions. If you wish to live life to its fullest, then listening is vital.
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Listening is much more than that. it's a form of humility. and it's not always easy.
so, let's learn to listen so that we can listen to learn:)...
Monday, February 7, 2011
in relation with science..
Now I’m back with the 2nd post of the year;p,,
While the previous post was posted when I was ‘unemployed’, this time is a bit different; p. I’m currently helping out in a tuition centre back in my hometown, assisting secondary school students for their maths and physics. For this, I began to recall some concept and theory, which I had abandoned since a level ended ;p..
When I skimmed through the summary notes in the tuition centre where I help out, I found some things that I had actually forgotten as they were not inside ‘O’ nor ‘A’ level physics syllabus, e.g calculation for lenses, reflection, and refraction, resistor color codes, solar system, etc etc(hmm, quite different huh..and I didn’t remember studying some of it before ;p).. Past 2 weeks I spent my time there; and you know what? The ‘job’ that I never thought of before was actually exciting and fun:). I feel that I found friends there (not students nor tutees ;).. )
Anyway, I just wanna share about 1 physics concept that I (force it to) relate to our life.;)..
I’m sure all physics students have heard this word before: resonance. When the frequency of driving force matches its natural force, resonance will occur. When resonance occurs, there is maximum transfer of energy due to those two matching frequencies causing very large amplitude of vibration. (can’t believe I can still recall this without referring to anything..;p)
Talking about driving force, questions came out of my mind. What is actually the driving force of our life? And, how to match this force with our natural force, so that we can resonate and maximize our capacity?
- What is the driving force of our life?
- I think what drives us to our destination is PASSION. Passion is what a heart desires, an obsession and what one is enthusiastic about that will bring satisfaction to oneself. When ones work based on their passion, they will at least enjoy what they are doing if not master the activity. But here comes more difficult question: what is our passion? Each person’s passion may differ from one another.
- Honestly, this is not an easy question for me. I have been thinking so long to answer it and have never found the answer (yet). After talking with a friend, I realize that in order to find it out, we have to be in it. We may not know what our passions are yet, but trying out things may help to find the answer.
- Anyway, do you know why I choose teaching as my internship? Actually there’s a lot of reasons, but one thing to know, I used to think that teaching was definitely not my passion, I couldn’t teach, I was afraid that people wouldn’t understand what I was talking about, I was scared that people wouldn’t listen and all the negative thought.. in short, teaching was not in my dictionary!
- Then why I still choose teaching? This thought began when I read my JC testimonials and this part was purely written by my form teacher. He wrote about something saying that I liked to help to teach people who are weaker in maths. And my first response reading that : LAUGH OUT LOUD.. Really! I thought, c’mon why he wrote this as I was also not very good in maths(and he was my Maths teacher too..tsk..that’s why I thought he was kidding)...
- However (after laughing at it), I kept thinking about that ‘funny statement’ till there was a drive in me that said, why not? He was not so wrong after all. yup, some simply kept asking maths questions to me (who has less maths knowledge) instead of him...lol...and now, this is me, the girl enjoying her temporary job as a tuition teacher;p..
- Yeah, when we cannot see ourselves, we may want to hear some opinions from our peers? Though they may sound ridiculous, after we think twice, their judgment may actually be true, and they may help us in our decision making directly or indirectly..
- Yup, passion is not a so easy thing to find out(at least for me). Just like sciences, we need time to observe, to create hypothesis, to experiment before finally we can conclude. And now I am to find out whether things are my passions or not after I ‘jump’ into them..
- 2. How to match this driving force with the natural force?
- Of course, before we can match them, we need to identify them. Natural force: what is the natural ability that we have, or in other words: our TALENT? I believe everyone has talent and strength that may differ from one another, and there is no one in the world posses everything. Some are naturally gifted in their speech, some are artistically talented, some in their logical thinking, and even some are simply talented for caring for others.
- To find out, we may want to make a list what we are good at and what we are not good at ;p.. And we may not know what we good at until we try, right? Just try when you have chance to try. Try before you no longer have any choice. Experiment on them, you may want to try to speak in front of your school if you want to discover your talent in speech, or you may want to design a class T-shirt if you want to show off your artistic talent, or even take part in organizing committee to find whether you have leadership ability.
- Again, our natural abilities are also confirmed by others. For example,(only example, not trying to offend anyone) if you think you are gifted to be a singer but you can’t even synchronize your voice with the musical instruments and none like your voice, then what? Yes you know the answer^^..
- We may want to ask ourselves: what do we really enjoy doing most? Here’s the good thing about what we enjoy and what we are good at: we are usually good at things that we really enjoy doing most. So I think it’s easier to find our natural force, as usually we will enjoy doing them no matter what :)
In conclusion, before we can reach our destination and maximize our capacity, we have to find out those two things: natural & driving force. When these forces (passion and talent) match, we will be able to do greatest things we can achieve and be the greatest individuals we can be. Let us ‘resonate’ :)
Saturday, January 8, 2011
reopening;p
Hualow dunia…cukup lama tak jumpa yah.. wakaka..
Ahirnya gw mulai ngepost lagi setelah ‘setaun’ nge-privatise blog ini (karena emang kaga ada apa2 yg baru sih;p)..
Sebelumnya gw ngeblog di masa2 JC, yg kata orang adalah masa2 paling stressful..
yah sebetulnya gw kaga gitu percaya sih, uni pasti lebih parah kali, (provided lanjutinnya di local uni sin-cia-po..betul cici2 koko2 senior?;p)
Sekarang gw ngeblog karena saya dapet job sbg lawyer (pengacara) kali yah? Hehe.. Yah saatnya menikmati hidup sebelom mulai magang n lanjut skola lagi;p..
Klo ada yg nanya napa ga gawe di singapur, ya simple sih jawabannya..susah dapet kerjaan layak sebagai foreigner, palagi A-level graduate (doank)..ditambah biaya hidup yg cukup tinggi yg lebih memungkinkan jadi deficit gara2 ongkos kosan n makan.. bahasa spanyolnya sih hese neangan gawe di ditu teh.. hehe
Selain itu…paspor gw expired dlm waktu kurang dari 6 bulan = kaga bisa kemana2 = too bad loh.. I’m stuck here..wakaka..but not so bad sih..spending time with family and old friends sounds good, right?
Ngomong2 soal paspor, perpanjang paspor di kota bandung tercinta lumayan repot yah..wuih nguantrinya rek.. muantabzz tenan.. panasnyaaa…mpe berasa kecebur aer anget lah rasanya..
Untung gw uda persiapan, jd gw bw si ipod nano biar kaga bosen nunggu karena udah nebak ni antrian bakal bejibun bak ikan teri dalem baskom dikasi aer 3 gelas yg berenang seliweran ke mana2..
Eng… ing.. eng… si biru pun kukeluarkan, namun sejenak aku tertegun sambil berbisik dalam hati: “koq perasaan gw ga enak yah?” Kupandangi lock keynya si biru, “wah kaga locked”, kemudian kuamati kabel earpiecenya, “weleh2, masi nempel ama si biru”, kemudian tanpa berpikir panjang kutekan tombol bulat di tengah. “…*speechless*…” karena kutemukan 3 kata yg terdiri dari 14 huruf terpampang jelas di layar mungil si biru : Connect to power. Fiuhhhh…percuma jg yah bawa2 si biru yg sudah tewas karena gw lupa matiin dari kemaren sorenya..hehe..
Tapi gara2 bosen kaga bisa ngapa2in jg selain duduk diam tenang di kursi antrean, mulai deh nguping obrolan 2 ibu2 maceuh yg duduk tepat di belakang gw… sumpah, kaga ada maksud nguping, si ibu aja koq yg ngomongnya sekenceng knalpot motor bising… sebenernya ga gw dengerin sih, tapi kedengeran juga, yah mau bagemana lagi..;p.. tapi ada hal yg gw ga stuju aja dari omongan si ibu 1 ke si ibu 2 yg banyakan cuma manggut2 n bilang ‘oo..’ doank..wekeke… kira2 begini:
Ibu 1: “jadi orang mah jangan jujur2 lah. Bodo ih jadi orang jujur mah.”
Bleh, ngaco aja ah si ibu mah. Kenceng lagi ngomongnya. Kaga stuju sih emang,tapi kan ga mungkin jg gw jd malah nimbrung n ceramahin si ibu? Bisa2 dapet cap 5 jari di pipi gw..hehe..
Yah gw emang ga ngapa2in sih, cuma honestly, gw sedih dengernya.. seberapa banyak sih orang yg masih menghargai kejujuran? Udah terlalu biasa orang ama yg namanya boong item, mejikuhibiniu, palagi yg putih.. ‘daripada cilaka’ bahasa kerennya mah.. tapi bukannya yg namanya boong tetep aja dosa ya?
Saking udah dianggep biasa yg namanya ngeboong, ijazah palsu, ktp palsu, sim palsu, ampe paspor palsu juga lagi marak..bikin repot polisi aja kan.. tukang dagang aja yg jual jam tangan palsu bilang asli.. Cuma tukang gigi aja tuh yg mau ngaku kalo barang jualannya palsu :B..
Menurut gw, jadi orang jujur itu jelas kaga b***.. justru mereka tau betul apa resiko dari ga jujur yg malah bikin repot ampe kempot.. kejujuran adalah bukti dari kepemilikan integritas dan kepercayaan diri.. mungkin berarti mikir sebelum ngomong, jd yg diomongin bisa ditepati kali yah..
Ada lagi yg bilang,”jadi orang jujur gampang ketipu”, mnurut gw belum tentu bener.. Kan di buku manual jg ada ditulis,”hendaklah kamu cerdik seperti ular dan tulus seperti merpati.” Jadi orang yah emang perlu cerdik, harus peka juga ama tipu muslihat yg jahat2, tapi yah jangan ikutan jahat donk. Jujur ama polos beda euy.. anak kecil yg polos aja belom tentu jujur kan.. mungkin klo polos emang gampang ketipu(biarpun kadang ada bagusnya jg jd orang yg simple minded.kaga banyak pikiran tuh kayanya…)..tapi kan beda ama jujur.. orang jujur aja belom tentu polos… yup again, ini adalah pilihan hidup, buat milih: 1. yg benar en so pasti baik or 2. yg kliatannya baik tp belum tentu benar…
kt gw statement yg lebih bener malah ”tukang boong gampang parno”..buktinya orang yg udah biasa ngeboong jadi curigaan, negative thinking mulu towards others, dikit2 takut dijahatin(karena biasa ngejahatin orang kali yah?)..dosa lagi..hehe..lebih banyak ruginya kan?
Yasudahlah kira2 begitu yg ingin saia utarakan.. semoga tulisan ini boleh mengisi waktu luang anda;p.. mungkin ada sedikit tambahan pesan yg boleh diambil dari cuplikan orat-oret di atas :klo ngobrol di tempat umum jgn kekencengan kali yah?hehe…
anw happy belated new year people^^
Regards,
*gw yg lagi males ngeliat orang dg kerjaan sbg calo,manjang2in antrian aja>.<”*
Saturday, October 16, 2010
the end tip of the last quarter
a 4-year contract 'being paid' as a student will end within less than 2 months..
i will not say about how fast time flies cause i know it does ..
looking back to before signing this contract, i had never even thought of going abroad.
my plan was just go high school, then university, just in my hometown would do. the reason was, i had limitation in my foreign language mastery.so i thought if i stayed there, i didnt need to feel any concern about it.
it didn't go according to my plan, but i just went for it. it was a better one though. honestly, i was struggling as i found it difficult to communicate with people from different nation.but i once stayed in my comfort zone and was too lazy to move out from this zone. though i knew that little proficiency in English language was a barrier, i didn't really put any effort to remove it, as i thought communicating with people who could understand what i said was good enough. i still had friends though. finally i stayed in my comfort zone for the first 2 years and i realized how that had disadvantaged me. i was lacked of communication skill. People may find me quiet, but i was being 'mute', especially in class. i just felt not confident to speak. the thought of "i didnt want to waste their time to wait for me to come out with a word that i couldn't recall" was planted on my head. Moreover, i was placed in a community where there must be perfection in the use of English. After some times i was quite used to be a 'mute' girl, and found it normal not to talk at all for the whole day in class.and i thought i pretty enjoy my life?
However, i decided to step out from this comfort zone after i came in to a new community..i just told myself not to feel inferior of my weakness, instead to try to improve on it. yeah, i had to say that my second half of the journey was more colourful as i began to know more people, from different ethnics and background. i felt the boon of involvement in many communities. i also realized the importance of maximizing our capacity, as every effort that we put in would bear some fruits. yeah maximizing capacity could mean that we put higher expectation on ourselves, so we would be realistically upgraded and not downgraded. From this, at least i can speak and write more properly, compared to the previous 2 years, though it may not be perfect yet. but at least, this is comprehensible rite?haha.. and naturally, each stage i experienced has brought me closer to the end phase of my jc life.
as the clock ticking and the journey is nearing the end,
many may feel anxious for the upcoming examinations.
but, i have reasons not to be.
i know in 'theory' that he will never leave me. it was written in that manual book that he never forsake me nor leave me.
but still, my human nature made me simply wondering..
as you knew, sometimes the words of encouragement might be cliche as you heard them for so many times and had been stuck in your head, thus became impactless..
but this uncertainty was answered at a quiet time..
not by words or by anyone there..
i just felt the warmth of his embrace while tears began to drop
really, not because i was sad or scared as at that time there were only 4 weeks left before the battle began.
it was purely because i felt assured,
glimmering hope was becoming more luminous.
and this voice came to me:
"If i have been with you for these 4 your journey since the beginning of it, why i should not remain with you for the rest of it.
even now i will hold you tighter, and make you stronger each day. i want you to be victorious. you dont need to worry about anything.
i will still be with you, to guide you, till the end of your 4 year journey,
in fact i will still remain, not only until this journey ends, but my presence will always be with you, follow you wherever you go. and i will still be in for your next chapter of your journey, my child."
currently, my source of motivation is not because i want to be the best, nor to secure a place in the most prestigious university, nor for my own self-satisfaction.
i just want to give my best for Him, to live a purpose driven life, for He has been amazingly good to me.
he has proven his greatness and he gives me hope for the future.
i realise that it is only 3 weeks left before it begins,
but no point being stressed out, coz it will just be another source of distraction.
i will enjoy my A level period, the time where i am assured that He is walking along with me.
the time when i can feel that he is so close to me.
just do the best for him..
i can't rely on my own strength for i'm nothing without him,
but i believe in his guidance and his further plan for me.
i'm just trying to be the best i can be, so that in every aspect of my life, i can glorify him, as i place him at the centre of my life.
all the best everyone.. i think i may not post anything else until a level ends;p
i will not say about how fast time flies cause i know it does ..
looking back to before signing this contract, i had never even thought of going abroad.
my plan was just go high school, then university, just in my hometown would do. the reason was, i had limitation in my foreign language mastery.so i thought if i stayed there, i didnt need to feel any concern about it.
it didn't go according to my plan, but i just went for it. it was a better one though. honestly, i was struggling as i found it difficult to communicate with people from different nation.but i once stayed in my comfort zone and was too lazy to move out from this zone. though i knew that little proficiency in English language was a barrier, i didn't really put any effort to remove it, as i thought communicating with people who could understand what i said was good enough. i still had friends though. finally i stayed in my comfort zone for the first 2 years and i realized how that had disadvantaged me. i was lacked of communication skill. People may find me quiet, but i was being 'mute', especially in class. i just felt not confident to speak. the thought of "i didnt want to waste their time to wait for me to come out with a word that i couldn't recall" was planted on my head. Moreover, i was placed in a community where there must be perfection in the use of English. After some times i was quite used to be a 'mute' girl, and found it normal not to talk at all for the whole day in class.and i thought i pretty enjoy my life?
However, i decided to step out from this comfort zone after i came in to a new community..i just told myself not to feel inferior of my weakness, instead to try to improve on it. yeah, i had to say that my second half of the journey was more colourful as i began to know more people, from different ethnics and background. i felt the boon of involvement in many communities. i also realized the importance of maximizing our capacity, as every effort that we put in would bear some fruits. yeah maximizing capacity could mean that we put higher expectation on ourselves, so we would be realistically upgraded and not downgraded. From this, at least i can speak and write more properly, compared to the previous 2 years, though it may not be perfect yet. but at least, this is comprehensible rite?haha.. and naturally, each stage i experienced has brought me closer to the end phase of my jc life.
as the clock ticking and the journey is nearing the end,
many may feel anxious for the upcoming examinations.
but, i have reasons not to be.
i know in 'theory' that he will never leave me. it was written in that manual book that he never forsake me nor leave me.
but still, my human nature made me simply wondering..
as you knew, sometimes the words of encouragement might be cliche as you heard them for so many times and had been stuck in your head, thus became impactless..
but this uncertainty was answered at a quiet time..
not by words or by anyone there..
i just felt the warmth of his embrace while tears began to drop
really, not because i was sad or scared as at that time there were only 4 weeks left before the battle began.
it was purely because i felt assured,
glimmering hope was becoming more luminous.
and this voice came to me:
"If i have been with you for these 4 your journey since the beginning of it, why i should not remain with you for the rest of it.
even now i will hold you tighter, and make you stronger each day. i want you to be victorious. you dont need to worry about anything.
i will still be with you, to guide you, till the end of your 4 year journey,
in fact i will still remain, not only until this journey ends, but my presence will always be with you, follow you wherever you go. and i will still be in for your next chapter of your journey, my child."
currently, my source of motivation is not because i want to be the best, nor to secure a place in the most prestigious university, nor for my own self-satisfaction.
i just want to give my best for Him, to live a purpose driven life, for He has been amazingly good to me.
he has proven his greatness and he gives me hope for the future.
i realise that it is only 3 weeks left before it begins,
but no point being stressed out, coz it will just be another source of distraction.
i will enjoy my A level period, the time where i am assured that He is walking along with me.
the time when i can feel that he is so close to me.
just do the best for him..
i can't rely on my own strength for i'm nothing without him,
but i believe in his guidance and his further plan for me.
i'm just trying to be the best i can be, so that in every aspect of my life, i can glorify him, as i place him at the centre of my life.
all the best everyone.. i think i may not post anything else until a level ends;p
Saturday, September 25, 2010
how if?
how do you feel,
if you know that someone has a problem,
but you don't know exactly what it is,
and you feel like helping that person,
but you just don't know how to?
how do you feel,
if you want to try to talk to that person,
who is supposedly approachable,
to know more about this person's life,
so you can take necessary action to help this person,
but you are really busy with your own things,
which somewhat significantly important to your life?
how do you feel,
if you decide not to care too much about this person,
just because you don't want to help this person 'halfway'?
you are you are scared if you will not be available for this person,
when this person has already trusted you.
you are worried that you will not be ready for this person,
when this person needs you.
because of your busy life
how do you feel,
if you postpone the plan to help to this person,
not only because your own 'busy'ness,
but also this person's similar 'busy'ness
and you just don't want to disturb this person.
because you understand as you have gone through this person's business,
as you want this person to concentrate on this person's major thing first,
instead of making this person spending time talking from zero,
and this person will have less time to spend on the more important thing..
as time is not infinite..
but you are confused,
whether this person will be alright to carry the burden for a little longer,
since you dont know how exactly the thing is,
you are not sure what will happen if you let it be,
yeah you do not know that,
as this person does not know that you actually care for this person..
because you just dont want to give an empty hope..
if you know that someone has a problem,
but you don't know exactly what it is,
and you feel like helping that person,
but you just don't know how to?
how do you feel,
if you want to try to talk to that person,
who is supposedly approachable,
to know more about this person's life,
so you can take necessary action to help this person,
but you are really busy with your own things,
which somewhat significantly important to your life?
how do you feel,
if you decide not to care too much about this person,
just because you don't want to help this person 'halfway'?
you are you are scared if you will not be available for this person,
when this person has already trusted you.
you are worried that you will not be ready for this person,
when this person needs you.
because of your busy life
how do you feel,
if you postpone the plan to help to this person,
not only because your own 'busy'ness,
but also this person's similar 'busy'ness
and you just don't want to disturb this person.
because you understand as you have gone through this person's business,
as you want this person to concentrate on this person's major thing first,
instead of making this person spending time talking from zero,
and this person will have less time to spend on the more important thing..
as time is not infinite..
but you are confused,
whether this person will be alright to carry the burden for a little longer,
since you dont know how exactly the thing is,
you are not sure what will happen if you let it be,
yeah you do not know that,
as this person does not know that you actually care for this person..
because you just dont want to give an empty hope..
